1
00:00:09,379 --> 00:00:09,517
Are you ready, kids?

2
00:00:10,896 --> 00:00:11,000
KIDS:
Aye, aye, Captain!

3
00:00:12,482 --> 00:00:12,620
I can't hear you.

4
00:00:14,172 --> 00:00:14,310
[ louder]:
Aye, aye, Captain!

5
00:00:15,758 --> 00:00:15,896
♪ Oh...

6
00:00:19,103 --> 00:00:19,241
♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

7
00:00:21,034 --> 00:00:21,172
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!♪

8
00:00:23,137 --> 00:00:23,275
♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he. ♪

9
00:00:25,344 --> 00:00:25,482
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!♪

10
00:00:27,206 --> 00:00:27,344
♪ If nautical nonsense be
something you wish... ♪

11
00:00:29,137 --> 00:00:29,275
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!♪

12
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:31,137
♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish. ♪

13
00:00:33,172 --> 00:00:33,310
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!♪

14
00:00:35,137 --> 00:00:35,275
♪ Ready?
SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

15
00:00:36,965 --> 00:00:37,068
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

16
00:00:39,965 --> 00:00:40,068
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

17
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:41,413
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

18
00:00:43,379 --> 00:00:43,517
[ laughs heartily]

19
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:47,103
[ plays airy tune]

20
00:00:49,344 --> 00:00:49,482
Captioning sponsored
by MTV NETWORKS

21
00:01:04,379 --> 00:01:04,517
[ SpongeBob and Patrick
laughing]

22
00:01:11,344 --> 00:01:11,482
Whoa!

23
00:01:12,551 --> 00:01:12,689
[ both laughing]

24
00:01:17,172 --> 00:01:17,310
[ laughing heartily]

25
00:01:22,758 --> 00:01:22,896
You're it.

26
00:01:24,034 --> 00:01:24,172
[ both laughing]

27
00:01:25,724 --> 00:01:25,862
You're it.

28
00:01:27,137 --> 00:01:27,275
Wait, Pat--
you're it!

29
00:01:29,965 --> 00:01:30,068
[ screams]

30
00:01:31,620 --> 00:01:31,758
The sign!

31
00:01:33,517 --> 00:01:33,655
[ laughter turns to fear]

32
00:01:38,482 --> 00:01:38,620
[ yells]

33
00:01:41,586 --> 00:01:41,724
[ thud]

34
00:01:42,586 --> 00:01:42,724
Patrick!

35
00:01:44,413 --> 00:01:44,551
Let me help you
out of there, buddy.

36
00:01:50,206 --> 00:01:50,344
Is the rest of you down there?

37
00:01:52,482 --> 00:01:52,620
The rest of me is up here.

38
00:01:54,172 --> 00:01:54,310
Ooh, you had me
worried there, buddy.

39
00:01:56,689 --> 00:01:56,827
[ laughs]

40
00:01:57,827 --> 00:01:57,965
Here's your head.

41
00:01:59,068 --> 00:01:59,206
[ laughs obnoxiously]

42
00:02:09,827 --> 00:02:09,965
I find all this laughter
to be highly illogical.

43
00:02:13,137 --> 00:02:13,275
Well, let's stop laughing
and let's start fishing.

44
00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:16,448
Go ahead,
you get first crack.

45
00:02:19,068 --> 00:02:19,206
Look at them-- these graceful
stoic creatures of the deep.

46
00:02:22,689 --> 00:02:22,827
Huh? Those are
some big words, Pat.

47
00:02:24,586 --> 00:02:24,724
I've never heard you
use them before.

48
00:02:26,482 --> 00:02:26,620
Nonsense, my vocabulary
is infinitely expanding.

49
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:30,103
Well, let's expand
our jellyfish nets.

50
00:02:32,517 --> 00:02:32,655
Come on, Patrick.

51
00:02:39,103 --> 00:02:39,241
Look, buddy,
I captured one.

52
00:02:41,689 --> 00:02:41,827
Yes, I captured one
as well

53
00:02:44,448 --> 00:02:44,586
without disturbing
its delicate ecosystem.

54
00:02:48,413 --> 00:02:48,551
It is wrong
to harness nature

55
00:02:50,655 --> 00:02:50,793
in such
a barbaric manner.

56
00:02:54,310 --> 00:02:54,448
Okay.

57
00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:55,965
What do you
want to do?

58
00:02:57,551 --> 00:02:57,689
Let us go off and admire

59
00:02:59,344 --> 00:02:59,482
the beauty and
fragility of nature.

60
00:03:02,413 --> 00:03:02,551
Pretty.

61
00:03:04,068 --> 00:03:04,206
Yes, quite.

62
00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:05,758
Fragile.

63
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:06,758
Indeed.

64
00:03:11,862 --> 00:03:11,965
Come on, Patrick,
let's do something fun.

65
00:03:14,172 --> 00:03:14,310
Oh, you want to run
some statistics

66
00:03:16,517 --> 00:03:16,655
or observe phenomenon

67
00:03:18,689 --> 00:03:18,827
and render hypothesis
of said phenomenon?

68
00:03:21,344 --> 00:03:21,482
I was thinking
more like jumping rope

69
00:03:23,448 --> 00:03:23,586
or one-legged races,
or playing duck-duck-
hermit crab.

70
00:03:29,965 --> 00:03:30,068
Doesn't feel like fun.

71
00:03:31,862 --> 00:03:31,965
How about some jokes.

72
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:34,137
[ sighs]

73
00:03:36,068 --> 00:03:36,206
What's the difference
between a guitar
and a jellyfish?

74
00:03:38,206 --> 00:03:38,344
You can't strum a jellyfish.

75
00:03:40,551 --> 00:03:40,689
Yes!

76
00:03:42,275 --> 00:03:42,413
[ laughs obnoxiously]

77
00:03:44,379 --> 00:03:44,517
[ strums beautiful chord]

78
00:03:46,758 --> 00:03:46,896
Oh, my,
look at the time.

79
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:48,137
I really must be going.

80
00:03:50,655 --> 00:03:50,793
What's wrong with Patrick?

81
00:03:52,517 --> 00:03:52,655
I sure hope he gets better soon.

82
00:03:59,034 --> 00:03:59,172
Are you better, Pat?

83
00:04:00,586 --> 00:04:00,724
Uh, what are you doing?

84
00:04:02,241 --> 00:04:02,379
Just studying
this amazing subspecies.

85
00:04:04,931 --> 00:04:05,034
I'll show you subspecies.

86
00:04:06,931 --> 00:04:07,034
Want to visit
Squidward?

87
00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:08,620
Since I am finished
with my work,

88
00:04:10,137 --> 00:04:10,275
I'll humor you
in your trivial pursuits.

89
00:04:14,724 --> 00:04:14,862
[ playing off-key melody]

90
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:17,103
I'd recognize that
piece anywhere:

91
00:04:19,344 --> 00:04:19,482
Cornelius Pufferfish's Opus 67,
"Symphony in Blue."

92
00:04:23,793 --> 00:04:23,931
Patrick?

93
00:04:25,034 --> 00:04:25,172
It's a beautiful piece.

94
00:04:26,827 --> 00:04:26,965
Execution needs
some work.

95
00:04:28,689 --> 00:04:28,827
May I suggest that
on the seventh bar

96
00:04:31,310 --> 00:04:31,448
of the adagio andante
that you add a little fortissimo

97
00:04:35,206 --> 00:04:35,344
on the arpeggiated b-flat scale?

98
00:04:37,931 --> 00:04:38,034
Wow, I never thought
to do it like that.

99
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:40,896
Well, that is
because you rarely think.

100
00:04:42,931 --> 00:04:43,034
How do you know
all that?

101
00:04:44,758 --> 00:04:44,896
A creative outlet provides
a spiritual release

102
00:04:48,137 --> 00:04:48,275
and helps facilitate
a healthy mental balance.

103
00:04:52,034 --> 00:04:52,172
[ inhales deeply]

104
00:04:53,931 --> 00:04:54,034
Does that include [ belching]
belch talking?

105
00:04:58,448 --> 00:04:58,586
Mr. SquarePants,
I find your humor vulgar.

106
00:05:01,827 --> 00:05:01,965
I had no idea you
were so knowledgeable,
Patrick.

107
00:05:05,551 --> 00:05:05,689
Do you think
you could be
my musical mentor?

108
00:05:07,758 --> 00:05:07,896
Uh, guys?

109
00:05:09,172 --> 00:05:09,275
Let's take it
from the top.

110
00:05:10,517 --> 00:05:10,655
[ squeaky notes]

111
00:05:12,034 --> 00:05:12,172
Not so excellent,
Squidward.

112
00:05:14,827 --> 00:05:14,965
Let me demonstrate
the proper technique.

113
00:05:19,448 --> 00:05:19,586
On second thought,
practice makes perfect.

114
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:22,137
Let's begin.

115
00:05:23,172 --> 00:05:23,310
[ playing nose]

116
00:05:24,551 --> 00:05:24,689
Uh, thank you, my good chap.

117
00:05:26,689 --> 00:05:26,827
Unfortunately this is
a solo piece for clarinet only.

118
00:05:30,034 --> 00:05:30,172
And one, two, three, four.

119
00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:31,758
[ Squidward playing off-key]

120
00:05:37,275 --> 00:05:37,413
PATRICK:
Stop! Enough!

121
00:05:40,137 --> 00:05:40,275
Find yourself a new mentor!

122
00:05:43,862 --> 00:05:43,965
Now that you're free,

123
00:05:45,103 --> 00:05:45,241
let's get some grub.

124
00:05:46,620 --> 00:05:46,758
No, SpongeBob,
I'm afraid not.

125
00:05:48,689 --> 00:05:48,827
Well, I have a brand new bottle
of super bubbly bubble soap.

126
00:05:55,517 --> 00:05:55,655
No, thanks again.

127
00:05:57,793 --> 00:05:57,931
Maybe later
we can play pirates.

128
00:05:59,206 --> 00:05:59,344
Robert, my dear, it's no use.

129
00:06:02,068 --> 00:06:02,206
We've just grown apart.

130
00:06:04,379 --> 00:06:04,517
What?
What do you mean?

131
00:06:06,379 --> 00:06:06,517
I know we've had fun
in the past,

132
00:06:09,275 --> 00:06:09,379
but we're just not
compatible anymore.

133
00:06:12,482 --> 00:06:12,620
It's time we went
our separate ways.

134
00:06:15,344 --> 00:06:15,482
Such is life.

135
00:06:17,241 --> 00:06:17,379
But Patrick,
you're my best friend.

136
00:06:19,241 --> 00:06:19,379
I know it's hard,
but brace up, chap.

137
00:06:22,103 --> 00:06:22,241
[ sniffling]:
Yeah.

138
00:06:23,827 --> 00:06:23,965
Maybe our paths
will cross again some day.

139
00:06:26,482 --> 00:06:26,620
Think fondly of me,
Mr. SquarePants.

140
00:06:29,586 --> 00:06:29,724
Good-bye... Mr. Best Friend.

141
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:34,137
[ sobbing]

142
00:06:37,344 --> 00:06:37,482
[ doorbell rings]

143
00:06:38,482 --> 00:06:38,620
Sandy, you there?

144
00:06:40,241 --> 00:06:40,379
I need some professional help.

145
00:06:42,448 --> 00:06:42,586
[ Sandy and Patrick laughing]

146
00:06:45,275 --> 00:06:45,413
Patrick?

147
00:06:46,965 --> 00:06:47,068
Well, Pat, the new you
gets an "A" plus.

148
00:06:48,862 --> 00:06:48,965
Why, thank you, Sandra.

149
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:50,965
I find your
intellect rather
stimulating as well.

150
00:06:53,655 --> 00:06:53,793
SANDY:
Oh, really? Thanks.

151
00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:55,620
Patrick, what do you think
about this problem?

152
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:58,103
You simply change the literal
term to a coefficient

153
00:07:01,034 --> 00:07:01,172
and the minuend will achieve
the desired quotient.

154
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:04,137
Even the simplest of mammals
could figure it out

155
00:07:06,448 --> 00:07:06,586
with a little thought.

156
00:07:08,068 --> 00:07:08,206
What do you mean
by that, Patrick?

157
00:07:09,689 --> 00:07:09,827
I'm merely suggesting

158
00:07:11,482 --> 00:07:11,620
you lack the ability
to solve remedial equations.

159
00:07:14,310 --> 00:07:14,448
Are you suggesting
I'm dumb?

160
00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:16,448
I'd use a more sophisticated
word like "impaired."

161
00:07:19,517 --> 00:07:19,655
I think
you'd better leave.

162
00:07:21,655 --> 00:07:21,793
I was only
trying to help.

163
00:07:23,517 --> 00:07:23,655
I don't need your kind
of help, Mr. Know-It-All.

164
00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:25,931
I liked you better
when you were a barnaclehead!

165
00:07:31,103 --> 00:07:31,241
[ sniffling]:
I never thought I'd lose
my best friend.

166
00:07:33,896 --> 00:07:34,000
How can I compete with geniuses?

167
00:07:37,551 --> 00:07:37,689
[ crying]

168
00:07:40,655 --> 00:07:40,793
Surrounded by knowledge
and no one to share it with,

169
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:45,137
no one I can call friend.

170
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:48,137
Who's that old chap
I used to run with?

171
00:07:51,620 --> 00:07:51,758
SpongeBob.

172
00:07:56,896 --> 00:07:57,000
At least Patrick's my friend
in my memories.

173
00:08:07,931 --> 00:08:08,034
Ah, the glory days.

174
00:08:10,896 --> 00:08:11,000
Why have we grown apart?

175
00:08:14,310 --> 00:08:14,448
I must apply all that I know
to solve this problem.

176
00:08:26,689 --> 00:08:26,827
What could it be?

177
00:08:33,517 --> 00:08:33,655
What's different?

178
00:08:35,344 --> 00:08:35,482
[ screaming]:
What?!

179
00:08:37,379 --> 00:08:37,517
I'd do anything to have my old
buddy back by my side again.

180
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:42,137
[ banging on door]

181
00:08:43,655 --> 00:08:43,793
SPONGEBOB [ sadly]:
Coming.

182
00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:49,758
Patrick--
you're kidnapping me?

183
00:08:51,620 --> 00:08:51,758
Yes, I am.

184
00:08:53,344 --> 00:08:53,482
Yay!

185
00:09:03,724 --> 00:09:03,862
What should we do?

186
00:09:05,206 --> 00:09:05,344
We are going to
have fun,

187
00:09:06,620 --> 00:09:06,758
whatever
the cost may be.

188
00:09:08,103 --> 00:09:08,241
Let's do this.

189
00:09:09,551 --> 00:09:09,689
Yes, let's have some fun.

190
00:09:13,862 --> 00:09:13,965
Oh, yeah!

191
00:09:16,517 --> 00:09:16,655
Oh, absolutely!

192
00:09:19,758 --> 00:09:19,896
Are you quite sure I found
this activity to be fun?

193
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:23,137
Yeah.

194
00:09:25,379 --> 00:09:25,517
[ screaming]

195
00:09:31,482 --> 00:09:31,620
That was fun, huh, Patrick?

196
00:09:34,206 --> 00:09:34,344
[ mumbling]

197
00:09:35,793 --> 00:09:35,931
[ sighs]

198
00:09:37,448 --> 00:09:37,586
When did the fun
go away, SpongeBob?

199
00:09:40,172 --> 00:09:40,310
It went away when you
jumped off that cliff

200
00:09:42,241 --> 00:09:42,379
and knocked your head
clean off.

201
00:09:43,965 --> 00:09:44,068
That's it.
That's what?

202
00:09:45,517 --> 00:09:45,655
What are you doing?

203
00:09:47,310 --> 00:09:47,448
I'm going to duplicate
my actions from that day

204
00:09:49,620 --> 00:09:49,758
to ascertain the origin
of my cha...an...nge!

205
00:09:55,689 --> 00:09:55,827
[ distant thud]

206
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:57,137
SPONGEBOB:
Patrick!

207
00:09:58,103 --> 00:09:58,241
Hold on, buddy.

208
00:10:01,689 --> 00:10:01,827
There you go.

209
00:10:02,931 --> 00:10:03,034
Don't worry, Patrick.

210
00:10:04,793 --> 00:10:04,931
I found your head last time,
I'll find it again.

211
00:10:10,172 --> 00:10:10,310
Not back there,
not under here.

212
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:12,517
What if I can't find it?

213
00:10:14,275 --> 00:10:14,413
Oh, poor headless Patrick.

214
00:10:19,172 --> 00:10:19,310
Patrick,
your head is back.

215
00:10:21,034 --> 00:10:21,172
But... uh...
do you feel different?

216
00:10:23,896 --> 00:10:24,000
Quite unchanged, actually.

217
00:10:25,827 --> 00:10:25,965
I guess we'll never
have fun together again.

218
00:10:30,137 --> 00:10:30,275
You said you found my dislodged
cranial cap last time.

219
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:34,103
Yes?

220
00:10:35,344 --> 00:10:35,482
Where exactly
did you find it?

221
00:10:37,551 --> 00:10:37,689
Um... it was right here.

222
00:10:39,896 --> 00:10:40,000
Hmm... impossible.

223
00:10:42,586 --> 00:10:42,724
If I landed here, the trajectory
of my dismembered skull

224
00:10:47,517 --> 00:10:47,655
would cause it to come to rest
not there...

225
00:10:50,793 --> 00:10:50,931
but here,
exactly five meters due north.

226
00:10:53,482 --> 00:10:53,620
But if that's your head,
then what did I pick up over...?

227
00:10:59,000 --> 00:10:59,103
Brain coral.

228
00:11:00,689 --> 00:11:00,827
No wonder you got
so smart, buddy.

229
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:04,103
Here you go, Patrick,
your old head.

230
00:11:06,379 --> 00:11:06,517
Are you sure you
want to give up being
smart and phosisticated

231
00:11:09,034 --> 00:11:09,172
to be my friend again?

232
00:11:10,793 --> 00:11:10,931
Knowledge can never
replace friendship.

233
00:11:13,034 --> 00:11:13,172
I prefer to be an idiot.

234
00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:14,724
Not just
an idiot, Patrick.

235
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:16,137
You're also my pal.

236
00:11:21,965 --> 00:11:22,068
Patrick?

237
00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:23,655
Say something, Patrick.

238
00:11:25,758 --> 00:11:25,896
[ belching]:
Hi, SpongeBob.

239
00:11:28,448 --> 00:11:28,586
Patrick, you're back.

240
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:29,827
Patrick, you're back.

241
00:11:32,034 --> 00:11:32,172
[ both laughing goofily]

242
00:11:45,482 --> 00:11:45,620
[ weird jellyfish war cry]

243
00:11:48,068 --> 00:11:48,206
[ laughing goofily]

244
00:12:03,655 --> 00:12:03,793
[ playing jazzy tune]

245
00:12:05,206 --> 00:12:05,344
[ screaming]

246
00:12:08,965 --> 00:12:09,068
Squidward, we love you!

247
00:12:11,413 --> 00:12:11,551
We love you Squidward,
you're my favorite.

248
00:12:14,137 --> 00:12:14,275
[ Squidward laughing]

249
00:12:16,793 --> 00:12:16,931
[ alarm rings]

250
00:12:20,034 --> 00:12:20,172
All right, all right.

251
00:12:22,724 --> 00:12:22,862
Time for another
hideous day at work.

252
00:12:25,965 --> 00:12:26,068
Uh, just hang in there,
gorgeous.

253
00:12:28,655 --> 00:12:28,793
[ plays note on clarinet]

254
00:12:30,620 --> 00:12:30,758
Your star will shine at
the clarinet recital tomorrow.

255
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:34,137
[ chuckles]

256
00:12:35,758 --> 00:12:35,896
Time for another glorious day
at work.

257
00:12:42,827 --> 00:12:42,965
Good morning, Squidward.

258
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:46,137
And isn't it a lovely morning?

259
00:12:48,275 --> 00:12:48,413
Why are you playing
the clarinet?

260
00:12:50,034 --> 00:12:50,172
I'm practicing
for my clarinet recital.

261
00:12:54,206 --> 00:12:54,344
Soon all of Bikini Bottom

262
00:12:56,689 --> 00:12:56,827
will recognize the talent
that is Squidward Tentacles.

263
00:13:01,482 --> 00:13:01,620
Good-bye, SpongeBoob.

264
00:13:03,413 --> 00:13:03,551
See you at the Krusty Krab,
Squidward.

265
00:13:06,275 --> 00:13:06,413
Hey Sandy-- what's this?

266
00:13:08,034 --> 00:13:08,172
Well, this here's
my new matter transporter.

267
00:13:10,241 --> 00:13:10,379
It can move things
from one place to another

268
00:13:12,241 --> 00:13:12,379
in the blink of an eye.

269
00:13:13,517 --> 00:13:13,655
Ooh, that sounds fancy.

270
00:13:15,068 --> 00:13:15,206
Let me show you
how it works.

271
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:23,482
Whoa!

272
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:27,103
Where'd it go?

273
00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:28,655
Just where you think
it would be.

274
00:13:30,241 --> 00:13:30,379
[ gasps]:
Oh!

275
00:13:32,758 --> 00:13:32,896
Uh-oh,
I'm late for work.

276
00:13:34,758 --> 00:13:34,896
Think your machine could
zap me over to the Krusty Krab?

277
00:13:37,172 --> 00:13:37,310
Always did want
to try a critter.

278
00:13:39,137 --> 00:13:39,275
Sure, why not?

279
00:13:40,793 --> 00:13:40,931
Get in there,
SpongeBob.

280
00:13:42,620 --> 00:13:42,758
Woo-hoo!

281
00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:44,896
Hold on tight.

282
00:13:46,482 --> 00:13:46,620
SPONGEBOB:
Gee, Sandy, this sure feels...

283
00:13:48,068 --> 00:13:48,206
[ garbled]

284
00:13:51,758 --> 00:13:51,896
Well, here we go again.

285
00:13:54,517 --> 00:13:54,655
Hey, Thkwidward.

286
00:13:56,103 --> 00:13:56,241
[ laughs]

287
00:14:00,931 --> 00:14:01,034
What's going on
with this thing?

288
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:04,137
[ screaming]

289
00:14:12,482 --> 00:14:12,620
What in tarnation?
[ gasps]

290
00:14:21,103 --> 00:14:21,241
Hi, Sandy!

291
00:14:22,551 --> 00:14:22,689
I'm not sure
what it is,

292
00:14:24,275 --> 00:14:24,413
but something seems
different about me.

293
00:14:26,586 --> 00:14:26,724
Yeah-- me, too.

294
00:14:28,241 --> 00:14:28,379
Hey, what're you doing
with my hand?

295
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:30,758
What... what am I doing
with your hand?

296
00:14:32,586 --> 00:14:32,724
[ Squidward screams]

297
00:14:33,896 --> 00:14:34,000
What is this?

298
00:14:35,344 --> 00:14:35,482
We're all mixed up
together.

299
00:14:36,965 --> 00:14:37,068
[ Squidward straining]

300
00:14:39,034 --> 00:14:39,172
This is horrible.

301
00:14:40,689 --> 00:14:40,827
I have my clarinet
recital tomorrow.

302
00:14:43,793 --> 00:14:43,931
Oh, it's not so bad, Squidward.

303
00:14:46,413 --> 00:14:46,551
Now we can be best buddies and
do everything together forever.

304
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:54,103
[ Squidward screams]

305
00:14:55,413 --> 00:14:55,551
Sandy,
was this your doing?

306
00:14:57,034 --> 00:14:57,172
You've got to
get us separated.

307
00:14:58,758 --> 00:14:58,896
Well, I wish I knew how.

308
00:15:00,344 --> 00:15:00,482
Well, you have to
do something.

309
00:15:02,137 --> 00:15:02,275
I can't stay
stuck to him.

310
00:15:04,103 --> 00:15:04,241
Hmm, I wonder what would happen

311
00:15:06,103 --> 00:15:06,241
if I tried zapping you back
in the transporter?

312
00:15:08,344 --> 00:15:08,482
Uh, yeah, good idea--
let's do it.

313
00:15:10,413 --> 00:15:10,551
Well, here goes nothing.

314
00:15:14,517 --> 00:15:14,655
TEACHER:
All right, children,
today is Timmy's birthday.

315
00:15:17,379 --> 00:15:17,517
You know what that means--
ready, Timmy?

316
00:15:20,448 --> 00:15:20,586
[ strange moaning]

317
00:15:22,793 --> 00:15:22,931
[ teacher and Timmy screaming]

318
00:15:26,862 --> 00:15:26,965
Congratulations,
Mrs. Smith.

319
00:15:28,793 --> 00:15:28,931
You gave birth
to a healthy baby boy.

320
00:15:30,862 --> 00:15:30,965
May I see my baby?

321
00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:32,448
Of course.

322
00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:33,758
[ screams]

323
00:15:38,448 --> 00:15:38,586
I've been in love
with you

324
00:15:40,586 --> 00:15:40,724
ever since I first
laid my eye on you.

325
00:15:45,896 --> 00:15:46,000
Hey, baby,
what's your name?

326
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:53,724
It's no use, Sandy.

327
00:15:55,344 --> 00:15:55,482
We're still
the same.

328
00:15:56,896 --> 00:15:57,000
Well, that's a darn shame.

329
00:15:58,931 --> 00:15:59,034
You know what?

330
00:16:00,931 --> 00:16:01,034
I was working on the blueprints
for a new invention,

331
00:16:03,413 --> 00:16:03,551
but it's still
in the embryonic stage.

332
00:16:05,241 --> 00:16:05,379
Try anything!

333
00:16:07,275 --> 00:16:07,413
I cannot go to my clarinet
recital like this.

334
00:16:10,448 --> 00:16:10,586
I'll continue working on it.

335
00:16:12,448 --> 00:16:12,586
In the meantime,
you boys keep your heads up.

336
00:16:16,344 --> 00:16:16,482
Together forever.

337
00:16:17,793 --> 00:16:17,931
Misery.

338
00:16:19,758 --> 00:16:19,896
SpongeBob, hasn't anybody
taught you how to ride a bike?

339
00:16:23,172 --> 00:16:23,310
Don't worry, I'll drive.

340
00:16:24,655 --> 00:16:24,793
Ow! Ow!

341
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:26,206
SpongeBob!
Ow! Ow! Ow!

342
00:16:27,413 --> 00:16:27,551
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

343
00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:31,586
I got to lay off the hot sauce.

344
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:35,103
[ crashing]

345
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:40,137
What in blazes
is going on in here?

346
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:42,137
Oh, hi, Mr. Krabs.

347
00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:44,241
What are you two doing
laying around?

348
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:46,103
Get to work!

349
00:16:47,068 --> 00:16:47,206
If you say so.

350
00:16:49,379 --> 00:16:49,517
Egad! What happened to you?

351
00:16:51,620 --> 00:16:51,758
Uh, I don't want to know.

352
00:16:53,482 --> 00:16:53,620
Just go do your jobs.

353
00:16:55,172 --> 00:16:55,310
Aye, aye,
cap'n!

354
00:16:57,172 --> 00:16:57,310
Do you have to be such
an accommodating buffoon?

355
00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:00,896
Squidward, everybody
knows I'm a sponge.

356
00:17:03,482 --> 00:17:03,620
I look nothing like a balloon.

357
00:17:05,103 --> 00:17:05,241
I don't have time for this.

358
00:17:07,379 --> 00:17:07,517
I got to man
the cash register.

359
00:17:09,275 --> 00:17:09,413
[ straining

360
00:17:12,103 --> 00:17:12,241
Whew!

361
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:13,379
Can I help you?

362
00:17:14,724 --> 00:17:14,862
Two Krabby Patties,
please.

363
00:17:16,793 --> 00:17:16,931
SQUIDWARD:
SpongeBob, I need two
Krabby Patties.

364
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:18,758
Two Krabby Patties
coming right up.

365
00:17:23,551 --> 00:17:23,689
I can't reach the bun.

366
00:17:25,655 --> 00:17:25,793
SpongeBob, what's the hold up?

367
00:17:27,862 --> 00:17:27,965
S-sorry, Mr. Krabs,
I'm on it.

368
00:17:30,551 --> 00:17:30,689
Time is money, boy.

369
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:33,103
Time is money, right.

370
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:35,275
[ struggling]

371
00:17:36,482 --> 00:17:36,620
Hello, bun, at last we meet.

372
00:17:38,931 --> 00:17:39,034
[ screams]

373
00:17:40,551 --> 00:17:40,689
[ horrific scream]

374
00:17:43,068 --> 00:17:43,206
And now for...

375
00:17:44,310 --> 00:17:44,448
[ both screaming]

376
00:17:45,724 --> 00:17:45,862
All right, that's it.

377
00:17:49,793 --> 00:17:49,931
I can't afford you
jeopardizing my business.

378
00:17:52,103 --> 00:17:52,241
You two are more trouble
than you're worth.

379
00:17:55,034 --> 00:17:55,172
And don't come back until you
get this problem sorted out.

380
00:17:59,655 --> 00:17:59,793
SPONGEBOB:
Look on the bright side,
Squidward.

381
00:18:01,827 --> 00:18:01,965
At least we still have
each other.

382
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:04,137
That's how we got in this
predicament in the first place.

383
00:18:07,103 --> 00:18:07,241
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'd like a moment of peace.

384
00:18:11,620 --> 00:18:11,758
[ starts playing clarinet]

385
00:18:14,931 --> 00:18:15,034
Whoa!
Rock on, freaky bro.

386
00:18:17,689 --> 00:18:17,827
SQUIDWARD:
Sandy! Sandy!

387
00:18:19,655 --> 00:18:19,793
Please tell me you've figured
out a way to separate us.

388
00:18:22,172 --> 00:18:22,310
Say hello to the
molecular separator ray.

389
00:18:24,827 --> 00:18:24,965
Hello, molecular separator ray.

390
00:18:27,620 --> 00:18:27,758
Well, let's get on with it.

391
00:18:29,413 --> 00:18:29,551
My clarinet recital
is tomorrow night.

392
00:18:31,827 --> 00:18:31,965
Uh, well, I'm not quite
done with it yet.

393
00:18:34,310 --> 00:18:34,448
What?

394
00:18:35,827 --> 00:18:35,965
I'm still
putting it together.

395
00:18:37,448 --> 00:18:37,586
At best
I'll have it ready,

396
00:18:38,862 --> 00:18:38,965
uh... day after tomorrow maybe?

397
00:18:40,965 --> 00:18:41,068
What?
Day after tomorrow?

398
00:18:42,620 --> 00:18:42,758
No, no, no, no!

399
00:18:44,103 --> 00:18:44,241
I have a performance
tomorrow.

400
00:18:46,068 --> 00:18:46,206
I can't be stuck
to that yellow freak.

401
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:50,310
Sandy, please--
you got to do it
before the show.

402
00:18:54,206 --> 00:18:54,344
Well, uh,
I suppose...

403
00:18:56,689 --> 00:18:56,827
I'll have it ready
before you go on.

404
00:19:12,586 --> 00:19:12,724
[ straining]

405
00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:16,586
SQUIDWARD:
Of course.

406
00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:21,758
Oh, my.

407
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:24,551
Where are you Sandy?

408
00:19:26,758 --> 00:19:26,896
Sandy?

409
00:19:29,137 --> 00:19:29,275
I can't do it,
I can't go out there.

410
00:19:32,103 --> 00:19:32,241
Squidward...
this is your moment,

411
00:19:35,793 --> 00:19:35,931
the story you will tell

412
00:19:37,793 --> 00:19:37,931
when you look back
as a... superstar.

413
00:19:41,655 --> 00:19:41,793
Superstar?

414
00:19:43,413 --> 00:19:43,551
Now go out there
and give them

415
00:19:45,275 --> 00:19:45,413
the best darned show
they've ever seen.

416
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:47,758
You're right--
the show must go on.

417
00:19:50,827 --> 00:19:50,965
ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlefish,

418
00:19:53,413 --> 00:19:53,551
Bikini Bottom's
community rec center

419
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:55,965
is proud to present
Squidward Tentacles.

420
00:19:59,310 --> 00:19:59,448
[ applause]

421
00:20:01,620 --> 00:20:01,758
[ crowd oohs]

422
00:20:03,551 --> 00:20:03,689
[ playing soulful tune]

423
00:20:08,344 --> 00:20:08,482
Honey, I'm scared.

424
00:20:10,137 --> 00:20:10,275
[ continues playing]

425
00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:17,655
[ cloth tears]

426
00:20:21,103 --> 00:20:21,241
[ crowd gasps]

427
00:20:25,034 --> 00:20:25,172
Uh... hi.

428
00:20:27,724 --> 00:20:27,862
Whoa!

429
00:20:29,827 --> 00:20:29,965
[ laughs]

430
00:20:31,310 --> 00:20:31,448
Rock on, freaky bro.

431
00:20:33,448 --> 00:20:33,586
Yeah! Whoo!

432
00:20:35,344 --> 00:20:35,482
[ crowd commenting]

433
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:39,103
[ cheering and whistling]

434
00:20:41,413 --> 00:20:41,551
Wow,
they really liked it.

435
00:20:43,896 --> 00:20:44,000
MR. KRABS:
There you go, Squiddy.

436
00:20:46,344 --> 00:20:46,482
[ crowd cheering]

437
00:20:49,689 --> 00:20:49,827
They... they...
they're cheering.

438
00:20:52,965 --> 00:20:53,068
Superstardom-- this must
be what it feels like.

439
00:20:57,551 --> 00:20:57,689
This is what it looks like,

440
00:21:00,620 --> 00:21:00,758
what it... sounds like,

441
00:21:04,068 --> 00:21:04,206
and... [ inhales deeply]
what it smells like.

442
00:21:08,758 --> 00:21:08,896
Wow, simply intoxicating.

443
00:21:13,517 --> 00:21:13,655
Whoo-wee!
Well, there you boys are.

444
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:16,413
Looks like I'm just in time.

445
00:21:17,965 --> 00:21:18,068
Sandy?

446
00:21:19,551 --> 00:21:19,689
One blast of this
molecular separator ray

447
00:21:21,275 --> 00:21:21,413
and you'll be
separated for good.

448
00:21:23,206 --> 00:21:23,344
No, no wait--
Sandy, don't.

449
00:21:27,689 --> 00:21:27,827
[ crowd gasps]

450
00:21:29,137 --> 00:21:29,275
[ disappointed grumbling]

451
00:21:34,620 --> 00:21:34,758
[ starts playing clarinet]

452
00:21:40,517 --> 00:21:40,655
I think I'm going to be sick.

453
00:21:46,310 --> 00:21:46,448
Ah, I'm out of here.

454
00:21:48,689 --> 00:21:48,827
Huh?
No, wait, wait!

455
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:53,137
Aw, come on.

456
00:21:55,413 --> 00:21:55,551
Oh, my one moment
of fame gone.

457
00:22:01,758 --> 00:22:01,896
There's got to be some way
to reverse this.

458
00:22:04,517 --> 00:22:04,655
No, Squidward,
that's a very sensitive device.

459
00:22:09,241 --> 00:22:09,379
Squidward,
I wouldn't...

460
00:22:12,827 --> 00:22:12,965
So, what seems to be
the problem, Mr. Tentacles?

461
00:22:16,931 --> 00:22:17,034
It all started when I was born.

462
00:22:38,310 --> 00:22:38,448
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org